Is there anything more relaxing than the sound of rain falling outside your window? And I mean real rain. I've downloaded some fake rain sounds channel before and I don't buy it. It sounds like fake rain to me. Even if they use actual rain, it's not REAL rain. Live rain is not a recording. Just like listening to a song live by an artist you love, is different than listening to them on the radio. The quality is different. It's raw and real. I love raw and real. If I could find someone who wanted to live that way, with me, that would be awesome. I don't need perfect. Perfect is fake. I don't need you to act like you don't have prejudices of any kind, because every does, even if you won't admit it out loud. I hate meeting new people, I truly do. Because in the beginning, the conversation is about what you "do for a living" and what part of town you live in and boring stuff like that. It's not that I don't want to know those things; it's just that you could just give them to me on a notecard or casually mention it and then move on to your favorite song and why it's your favorite. What memory do you associate it with? These are the hard-hitting questions I care about. My job does fascinate people and they always say "it must be so rewarding," and it is at times, but mostly it's like any other job- the bosses just care about your productivity and making money. That's just the way the world works. In my free time I like to talk about the things I love, which mostly are: TV shows, book/movie franchises, music that moves me and why it moves me, what band or artist I'm going to see next, my cat Mollie, places I've traveled to and where I want to go next, and my godsons. These are all my most favorite things and what I talk about the most; firstly being (due to it's importance) my TV shows. Sure I watch a lot of shows. I used to be embarrassed by that, because it made me sound like I have no life, and maybe I don't, but that's not because I watch too many TV shows. There's a whole other reasons why that is the case and none of them have to do with TV. I don't do reality shows... like at all. If I wanted to watch a show with "real" people, I'd go down to the DMV... or honestly it's my every day life through my job. I get enough of that. Even though reality shows are like 75% fake nowadays, it's still the real world and I prefer my escape to be in the magical/fantasy/apocalyptic/crazy insanity world. One beyond the world of reality. I was thinking about what all the shows I watch have in common and everything I watch falls into one of these categories: 1. Quirky 2. Fantasy/magical 3. Apocalyptic 4. Superhero 5. Dark or Dark Comedy. Grey's Anatomy doesn't fall into any of these categories, but it's just awesome and I've watched it since the first day it came on TV and if I haven't stopped watching after they've killed every character I like, then I'll never stop watching. And Homeland doesn't fall into these categories and that's not usually the type of show I watch, but Claire Danes is absolutely mesmerizing and you just can't look away as she breaks down and ugly cries and spins out of control... so that's more of a "watching it for her" situation. Don't know why I felt the need to break that all down, but there you go. I like escaping into worlds I would never want to live in to begin with. I would literally not last a day in the world of The Walking Dead. Some worlds like that of The Last Man on Earth seem too good to be true. Pretty much everyone is dead, yet all the stores are in tact, there's no garbage or rotting bodies anywhere. It makes absolutely no sense, but to be able to take what you want from museums and shoes and live in the fanciest house by the beach if you wanted, seems pretty dang great. However you'd be stuck with whoever's left on Earth and they could all be jerks, which is how it's looking right now on the show (minus Carol).
I was having a hard week this week. The only time I was truly happy was when I was watching one of my favorite shows. Laughing at whatever crazy thing Sheldon said on The Big Bang Theory, took my mind off of how lonely I am all the time; despite the fact that this guy with social problems has more friends that want to spend time with him on a regular basis, than I do, and I would never say the socially appropriate things he says, which gets him in trouble every episode. They always forgive him and move on. I don't really buy it, but it's a show and it makes me laugh, so there ya go. I love getting lost in a show, or a book, when I find a really good one, which I don't most of the time. I'm extremely picky as an adult. I used to read everything as a kid, but now, it's harder to engage me. But the thing with me and my shows is that I fully invest in them and engage in them. I don't zone out and not pay attention. I could tell you everything that happened in one of my favorite shows. I used to do that for my best friend. She didn't like watching shows, but she wanted me to explain them to her. She told me it I explained it so well, it was like she had watched it, but she didn't have to. She always wanted to know what happened on Glee. I happily told her. That show combined my 2 favorite things- TV and music. Musicals are the best of both worlds. Plus my Dad loves TV shows as much as I do, and getting to talk to him about what crazy thing happened on The Leftovers and what our theories are as to what's really going on, is literally one of my favorite things to do. I love having someone as enthusiastic as I am about my favorite TV shows. Most people are too busy with their kids and lives to watch a lot of shows, and don't really care about them anyway. I even have a friend that doesn't own a TV. I can't even imagine. But with my Dad, we literally watch all the same things. We love to talk about them and I never have to feel like I'm bothering him or boring him, with talk of my shows, like I would my other friends. My Mom is another story. Sometimes I feel embarrassed talking about them in front of my Mom, it's better if she's in another room and it's just my Dad and I, or I'm talking to him on the phone about it. I can tell she doesn't care that much about them, despite the face that she too watches a lot of TV. I always got the impression that she thought I was just "wasting my time" or that she felt sorry for me that my this is as exciting as my life gets... talking about what happened on a TV show. I know what she truly wants for me. What she's always wanted- for me to be married and have kids. But that's not looking like that's going to happen. I've felt many many times that going out and meeting people only to fail at it or it being a total bust, that THAT "wasting my time." But binge watching all 4 seasons of Game of Thrones a month before the 5th season came out, never for a second felt like a "waste of my time." It felt like the most amazing time ever. I got to experience magic and dragons and an escape from a reality I didn't choose and don't seem to be able to change anyway, no matter how hard I've tried. But most of all, it makes me happy. I finally found my favorite TV character of all time in Daenerys, the silver-blonde haired mother of dragons beauty. Besides her beauty, it's her strength, kindness, confidence and leadership that I find the most attractive. Especially since she started out weak and controlled by her ass of a brother in the beginning of the series. Bo's Lost Girl previously held the role of my favorite character, and she's still in 2nd place, maybe a close 2nd...she's pretty kick-ass too. See? You can learn a lot from a strong woman, even as a fictional character. They inspire me and I fall in love with them... maybe a little too much, like with a certain girl in another Canadian girl-power show called Bomb Girls. But in the end, I separate reality from fiction and I know where I truly live. But don't all writers live in a fictional world anyway? Unless they only write boring Biographies. If I could, I would dedicate my days to writing. Who knows what I could truly do. But it doesn't pay the bills, and until I win the lottery or sell that first book I've written, of the untitled series with the placement title "1995;" I'll have to settle for writing whenever I can... in between watching my favorite inspiring TV shows, of course. I'll conclude with my newest TV gem-find. It's a little Australian show called Please Like Me. The main guy and his roommate are actually best friends in real-life, which adds to the "realness" feel of the show. Despite dealing with tough issues like his mother's depression, the show still manages to have a lightness to it, that can only be true of a show written, directed and starred in by the main character. You can tell he puts everything into it, and what comes out is a really "real" show that doesn't make you feel stupid, it doesn't talk down to you, it doesn't "make" you laugh, it just "is." It's funny in a real-life sort of way. When a show is effortless and doesn't feel forced or like they are "acting;" that's a trust testament of a really well-made show. Plus it has an awesome theme-song: "I'll Be Fine" by Clairy Brown and the Bangin' Rackettes which the main character dances and sings along to in a different scenario at the beginning of each episode. Josh may be 21 and learning to navigate his newfound sexuality and figure out what he's supposed to do with his life, but in the end I am just like him. I just want someone to Please Like Me, too.
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