"San Junipero"

This particular episode of Black Mirror, entitled "San Junipero,"that I watched late last night, is still etched inside my brain. It's themes continue to echo. This British series on Netflix is almost always dark, twisted and sometimes perverse. I watched the very first episode years ago and thought it was way too perverted and couldn't go back. But then I heard how great the others were, and they are all individual stories, kind of like how The Twilight Zone was, so I gave it another shot. They all seem to have these futuristic technology aspect to them. And they all have amazing twists. Just skip the very first one and you'll be good. I haven't watched them all yet, but most of season 3. This episode though... it was the sweetest and 'happily ever after' ending that they've ever had...considering they don't do 'happily ever afters.'
To summarize, it was about these 2 women, early to mid twenties, that meet at a bar in San Junipero circa 1986. One is curly haired and wild, having fun with anyone who's game. The other is a quiet mouse, who hides behind her fake glasses and doesn't want to dance because she doesn't know how and also "what will people think about 2 girls dancing?" The other girl picks up on her interest and goes for it. They have a wonderful night together and shy girl tells her that it's her first time..."with a woman you mean, right?" Kelly asks. "No, with anyone," Yorkie responds. So Kelly and Yorkie keep meeting up one week later several times... and in several different decades- 80s, 90s, 2000s. Of course they don't age, which doesn't seem that weird, considering the series. But what's revealed is that these 2 women are living in different places... in nursing homes. Kelly has cancer and lost her husband 2 years ago to cancer. Yorkie is on a ventilator. She can't speak or move. She was paralyzed at age 21 when she came out to her Bible thumping parents and they forbid her to be herself and she got in her car and drove upset, crashing and becoming a quadriplegic. So this therapy they both are on is called "immersive nostalgia therapy." They are allowed 5 hours a week to go to "San Junipero" an idyllic beach town where they can just enjoy life again... or for Yorkie, for the very first time. It literally sounds like the best idea ever. They don't say if it's just for seniors, but they limit it so you don't rely on it too much, however when your time comes to die, you can choose to make it a permanent home, not a vacation home. Yorkie is definitely choosing this, but Kelly is unsure, because her husband didn't choose it, plus they lost a special needs child when she was 39. Apparently this is only for the old, who know they are going to die, so they can sign off on it. They don't seem to believe in a Heaven. When you die, that's it. Kelly's husband didn't want it. I guess he wanted to take a chance on wherever you go next, not being 'put' somewhere. Me, I think I would choose this town over not knowing. I don't know what Heaven would be like, but I know what San Junipero is like. They showed it. They live on the beach, there's mountains, it's the 80s! I can't think of anything cooler. But most importantly, she finally found love. Kelly proposes and marries her so that she can be her spouse to sign off on the papers to make this home permanent for her, because her parents certainly weren't going to do it (I guess surprisingly they are still alive). But also she loves her. Even though she doesn't know what to do, take a chance to see her husband again, who she spent 40 years with, or start a new life with the woman she now loves. Thank God she chooses her. I was scared for a second she wouldn't. Like I said, this show doesn't do 'happily ever after.' I don't know if it was the late hour at which I watched it or what, but it suddenly made me hope that even if I don't find love in this life, I can in the next. Or more specifically the after-life. There's lots of shows and movies that poke fun at what this could be like. There's another show called "The Good Place." In it the "good" are those who have reached a high point system by doing good things in life. The main character is there by accident. The actress said in an interview that she's not necessarily bad, but I kind of disagree with that, some of the things she's done are not nice at all, downright mean to real people, but no she didn't murder anyone, if that's the line. There's houses which are by size depending on how much good you did, and frozen yogurt places everywhere with flavors like "full cell phone battery." And most importantly your soul mate is there. However due to the mix up, it's not their actual soul mates. I don't know if heaven will have beaches and the love of my life, or frozen yogurt and my soul mate, but I'm hoping it has all of those things. I could try to find those things here on Earth, but that seems as impossible as finding a unicorn out in the woods by my house. I wish it was possible, but it just doesn't feel it. I look for connection with anyone I meet. I try to see if hanging out would be an option, to better know if there's anything real at all, even just friendship. But people don't want that anymore. They want to connect online with strangers, speak their mind with no consequences. Kelly wanted to visit San Junipero once a week and have fun, no emotional connections... but it happened anyway. It feels like everyone already has that one person that they are dedicating their time to, to build on that connection. They aren't looking for anyone else. Or, I'm just not their cup of tea. And I'm good tea. I'm like green tea. It's good for you and it makes you feel chill. It's light and soothing. You feel better after you drink it. Heck I've only dated 2 guys and they both wanted to marry me. They audibly said it. That was a random brag, but it was also to prove my point. Anyways. I thought about the writer of this story, the one title "San Junipero." Without looking up who it was, I thought about how it was this woman, writing what she wished for her own life. I thought about how I could have been the writer of this episode. All the stories I write are about myself or a fictitious me, wherein I play out my fantasies of falling in love, making love and spending my life with someone that loves me both relationally and physically. And they are just like this very story I got to see on my big TV screen (that I moved from the living room to my bedroom because let's face it, my Tempur-pedic Breeze mattress is about a million times more comfortable than my terrible so-called couch). To see it play out before my very eyes; something that wasn't real in a sense that it was their actual lives and their actual bodies, but was very real to them and was 100% their own minds, is exactly how I live in the stories I write about myself. It's not real, it's not my actual life, it's not my actual body experiencing all things I'm writing about, but my mind is experiencing it, through writing it. And like the story in that show, everything isn't perfect- they fought; Kelly almost didn't 'pass over' to San Junipero. In my stories too, I don't make myself or the other girl 'say all the right things.' She doesn't say I love you all the time, or 'you're like a beautiful model.' I write realistic. My stories are real to life and life isn't perfect like that. People don't always say the right things or say what you want them to say, that would be called ventriloquism.
I'm glad that it ended hopeful. I was worried for a second that Kelly wouldn't choose Yorkie and she'd be stuck in this perfect world forever, without the woman she loved, after finally getting to experience it in the last days of her actual life... via virtual reality or whatever you want to call it. Or that the server room where everyone is stored, with the robot arms keeping it running, would somehow malfunction and then everything would cease to exist... including your afterlife self. But thank God it didn't end like that. And I'm hoping that's not what the afterlife is like either, a malfunctioning computer system or living eternally without your soul mate. That would doubly suck. Afterlife has to be better than actual life...I would hope. Unless you're a psychopath, then you don't deserve that. You spent your life doing what you love- killing and hurting people. You do not get to do that in your afterlife too. And on that note... butterflies and unicorns and rainbows. Puppies and Kittens... just trying to leave a nice image in your mind before you go. Not go, go. Just go away from this blog. But hopefully not forever. I'll see you next time. Soon, I'm sure. In this life... to be clear.