Brave, weird, it’s all the same

I was thinking about all the “interesting” things I’ve done...that’s a nice way of saying- weird or crazy. I guess you could also say unusual or unique. Maybe not unique because it sounds like only you did it and that’s not true. Some of the ones that stand out the most are like when I went to a “Cuddle Party,” (which is exactly as it sounds). Or the weekend I spent at the Nudist Colony. I was the youngest person there by far but it didn’t stop me from enjoying myself. That was probably the freest I’ve ever felt in my life. I’m specifically referring to my nature walks alone in the woods with the wildflowers and only the birds to see me. I had purposefully picked an off weekend and most people hung out by the pool anyway. I also got a color tattoo of mountain peaks on my left arm above my wrist. Not necessarily unique, but it is when everyone thinks it’s just colored triangles on my arm, like I’m really into Geometry or something. When in reality I think I almost flunked that class and to this day haven’t a clue what the point of it was.  

I’ve done other brave things. Like I moved to Colorado not knowing a soul, just because I loved the mountains and wanted an adventure. I’m proud of myself for that. That takes guts moving somewhere all alone. I’ve gone on countless meetup group events, some where I find myself surrounded by senior citizens. Some where no one even shows up even though they said they were coming. I’ve gone on dating app dates to meet strangers. I go to hotels alone just for the fun of it. I’ve taken trips to cities like San Francisco alone, been to another country alone (Canada, but still). I rock out at concerts alone. There isn’t anything I haven’t done alone. I went to Vegas for a lesbian conference all alone. I went to The Walking Dead premiere event in L.A. alone and that was given out as “tickets for two.” I always try to talk to people, wherever I go, to connect. Sometimes I think there’s something there, but usually there’s not. And even if for moment there is, it’s not as real as I thought it was. Or the other party had a better offer come along. It is what it is. It still doesn’t keep me from doing all these crazy, weird, unique, unusual, interesting things. 

I’m still proud of myself for trying. Not everyone can do some of those things alone, or any of them alone. It takes guts to try. It takes a brave soul to be like- “here I am, like me or not, but I’m going to still have a great time wherever I am.”