I suddenly felt compelled to write an account, a "history" will you, of the instances where I have had attention, in the past, from a boy...it can be counted on one hand. yes, a human hand, and that number is 5. 6 if you count the very first experience of a boy liking me. Or at least what I think was "liking me."
Our story begins in 1987. I was 6 years old and in the first grade. I was living in Austin, Texas, with my parents and little sister, (as I hadn't moved out yet). And all I remember of this experience is what you would call "typical kiddie love." It wasn't the pulling of the ponytail, from what I recall. It was the chasing me around the playground and trying to kiss me kind. I think his name was Joey, and if I recall correctly, he was an ugly kid. Sorry. Facts are facts. He was snotty and always dirty. He was blonde, I was blonde. I think this was probably the only reason he chased me and wanted to kiss me. You think it's weird I mention hair color? Well, just wait till another story of another boy, later on. I know for a fact that I didn't want him to kiss me, and being a tall leggie little girl who was in ballet and gymnastics, I got away from him quickly and he never got his chance to kiss me. If he kissed other girls on the playground? I have no idea, nor did I care. Kissing and boys and all that jazz didn't interest me at all, well for a long time really. But that's another story.
Fast forward to 10th grade, 1997. Oh look at that! 10 years later. Guess technically it was 96-97. It was my sophomore year of high school. But it was my first year in high school, as 9th grade was still Junior High back then. There was a boy in band. He played the Bassoon. Let's call him Neil. I honestly don't remember. Now he was a really interesting story. Interesting crazy, that is. I honestly don't remember him existing until the night of one of our band concerts. After the concert he gave me a bouquet of red roses and walked off in a sort of march that can only be described as "Nazi-like." Ok let me finish. It was in front of my parents and my Mom was over the moon as this was the first she ever saw of a boy liking me. I was freaked out. Like beyond freaked out. He was a weird kid. He was blonde. Maybe I've always had a thing with not liking real blondes. Like toe-head almost white, blondes. But what was weirder is that in band he gave me a letter that he wrote. It was written like a poem, that, if I was in love with him might be considered sweet, but it was just weird and creepy and Victorian but not in a "aww" way. I couldn't find the letter, I think I threw it away, but I swear I remember something being mentioned about celestial beings...or I was a shooting star or something random like that. I actually read it to the girls in my Flag Corps on a slumber party one night and the fellow Seniors (he was also a senior), totally flipped out. They all surrounded me and was like "Christie. Stay away from him!" (not that I needed any convincing). They told me that in junior high he used to walk down the halls and give people the Nazi salute. He wore capes and stuff and he told me once that he was born in an airplane over Germany, so he was technically German. I was 100% convinced that he liked me because I was blond hair blue eyed, and it was an Aryan race thing. Well. I never gave him any indication that I liked him and when he asked me to Prom, I lied and said I was going to be out of town at my grandma's house. Whether he bought it or not, I don't know. But he promptly let me be and moved on to another blond, which I believe she did go to prom with him. Hmm...anyways, that was a fun story!
The next one was the summer after my freshman year in college. 2000. It was my first love. My first boyfriend. My first best guy friend ever. We were really good friends for a year and dated another year after that. And then sort of 'whatever we were,' on and off after that, years later. But it was amazing and wonderful and heartbreaking and awful, all at the same time. I wouldn't change a thing though. Getting the attention I always wanted from a guy, and one I liked back, well there's nothing in the world better than that. That's the best kind of attention. Mutual like-ness. It still is the greatest love of my life. I still hope I find an even better one, though. One that lasts.
This next one was the summer before my senior year in college, so 2002. It was a summer thing. Well not really even a thing. I guess I'm just awesome and yet another boy I didn't really like that
way, liked me. Yet this time he wasn't chasing me on a playground, or a Nazi lover. He was a pretty normal guy. Well, for an Aggie. haha just kidding. We were spending Sundays helping with the kids at our sister Hispanic church. We had the babies and just played with them and tried to keep them from crying, even though they didn't understand us or why 2 very white young people were caring for them. We went out for ice cream once, but I didn't consider it anything more than a friendship. Summer was ending and we were about to go back to our separate schools. He gave me a hand written note on white school notebook paper, exactly like the one from crazy guy in High School. But this one was sweet and it was about how fun it was to serve God together and how he loved my heart for kids. I thought it was nice and friend like until at the end he said he saw our relationship soaring like an eagle in the future. I didn't know what to make of that. I guess since I didn't respond, he got the hint and moved on. I never heard from him again. I'm sure he met and married a nice Aggie girl and they've had little Aggie babies by now.
So fast forward to 2006. I'm living my dream up in Colorado Springs. I'm so happy in my mountain, laid back habitat. I've got a great group of friends, a "community group" of both guys and girls! A concept most churches don't play along with. I love me some small groups. I hate navigating a large, cattle-like atmosphere of single people. It's like being trapped in an elevator or something. It's not fun to me. But I was having a grand time with my little community group from church. Then for some reason, I think this other group was too small, so we merged with a mostly guys group. I think ours had like 2 guys, and so that's probably why. Well, my original group had yet another Aggie in it! And since we were the only 2 Texans in a group of mostly Wisconsin-ers, we had that in common and talked whenever we were in the group or group activities. So long story short, I meet a guy from the new merging group, when we were all camping. I didn't know that guy #1 was laying tracks for us to possibly date. Maybe I'm clueless to that. So suddenly I had 2 guys wanting to date me!! Can you believe it?? Well, I couldn't, that's for sure. So it's my 25th birthday and my friend plans a bday party. Both guys are there. And both guys are fighting for my attention all night and playing a game of "who can quote more lines from Napoleon Dynamite" to me, and it was just a trip! I have to say I loved it. Flash back to the night before, where I had a lovely dinner date with guy #1, that I didn't realize was a date until the waiter brought over flowers to our table, that he had clearly planned for ahead of time... and I also realized we were at a fancy steak house. I had thought it was a birthday dinner thing, but clearly it was a date. (So I do catch on eventually). And the day before that, I was at STOMP with guy #2. I had actually suggested that one. So, even though it sounds like guy #1 was the more romantic choice, I had already started to like guy #2 and the heart wants what the heart wants and I chose him. It was more of that I hung out with guy #2 all the time, and guy #1 got the picture real quick, which was awesome of him. I actually know for a fact that he is happily married to another Texas girl, so he's fine. And even though I dated guy #2 and thought we were going to get married (since he told me we were), that ended fairly quickly and he is also now married...and to another girl from that same group! Go figure. So, the point of this story is that all the guys in this story are married, and I'm still not...No, I have no idea about ugly boy and Nazi boy. But anywho, it's all great, because I don't even think a "guy" is for me. Maybe. Who knows. I haven't ruled it out. I love attention. And I haven't gotten attention from a guy since that time, 7 years ago. But anything's possible, I'm sure. God has the plan. I do not. I had a plan, several plans, but none of them worked out, and what do I know anyway? I hope I do meet someone who I can pour my attention and love into, just as they would me. I would love that so much. But until then, my attention is on the lovely people that are in my life currently. And the only boys I give my attention to are my godsons. And since my oldest boy told me repeatedly that I'm the best! Well, it's hard to imagine anything better than that. A 2 1/2 year olds love is not just given to anyone. It is better than gold. And it is attention I wouldn't trade in for the world.
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