"That's all I have to say about that."

Between the reality of the "leaders" of our fair country and the reality of my own personal life... it's no wonder I escape into my stories, both the fictional ones I write and the fictional ones I watch. One cannot possibly roll their eyes any higher, when talking about our President and all his little minions. I still haven't accepted it and think we're being Punk'd by some other country. We're just gonna wake up one day and realize this whole nightmare was just another fake reality TV show. Only we're not... it's real. When I think about the voters and how I personally voted as well in this election, fearing that it was the most important election in my 35 years on this planet and I HAD to, it wasn't even a choice; in the end, although popular vote dictated the opposite way, it really didn't matter that I voted. Some secret club or some hacking job or whatever you want to believe is the cause, were going to have their way no matter what. That's kind of how it feels with our President. I can't even say his name, but you'd have to be literally not figuratively, living under a rock on a deserted island in the middle of the ocean, to not know who I am talking about. It feels like he's this highly mentally unstable toddler who will not just throw a tantrum to get his way, but will also use his "words" which are actually lies, to convince a certain population of Americans, that what he says is the god honest truth. I'm starting to realize that he might in fact think that everything he says is the truth, which is much more disturbing than if he knew he was lying, but just wanted people to like him... to me that ship has not only sailed but was never docked at the port to begin with, but obviously there are people that like him or we wouldn't be where we are. And then I hear about people calling their state representatives to openly oppose a certain candidate, something I've never heard people being that invested in, in my entire life. But did it matter? Did they convince anyone? No. It's starting to feel like an "it's my way or the highway" Presidency and not at all what America was built on, what it stands for. But I guess at least there are some people of Authority not under his tiny thumbs... for instance the Supreme Court. They might be the only ones and something tells me our President could literally not figuratively sic dogs on them and they just wouldn't exist anymore. It feels like he could do anything. A big fat bully could do anything he wanted. It's feeling more and more reminiscent of a certain leader who shall remain nameless but who was around back in the day and took out an entire culture of people... well, anywho. This will be my one and only "political" blog, if you can even call it that. It's more of my revulsion of one person...and I guess everyone who backs him too, than it is of an entire party or of politics in general... although if I'm being honest, it all disgusts me, so who am I kidding? That's all I'm going to say about that.
But one of the points I was going to make is just that it feels like one person can't change something as big of a scale as this. Even many people can't change all of this. So many people have tried to make their voice known and it didn't matter. That's extremely disconcerting and extremely un-American. To have this state of helplessness just feels like piling on an already high pile of personal helplessness. Sure people will disagree and say you always gotta try no matter what and yeah I guess you do, but at what point do you give up? I'm not one of those people who think they have an amazing voice and will audition year after year on American Idol even after the judges and all of America have made fun of them and told them they are awful and need to stop singing, at least in public. I know my limits I know my abilities. I know when to stop. I can stop binge watching a show, I don't watch all 13 episodes in one day. That's crazy town to me. I don't eat any entire carton of ice cream in one sitting. And when it comes to trying to meet people and get out there, I have my limits. I don't have a certain number and I haven't counted them all up, but when you've tried for years with not only not making a new friendship that lasts, but not even making a connection with one person that turns into a real dating experience....I just feel like I've reached it, my breaking point. The end of the road. Whatever road that is. It's not just difficult, it feels impossible. I think that's why when I write these stories in which I ALWAYS meet a girl and connect with her and end up in a serious relationship that makes it; there is also always a "fantastical" element to them. There's always something else to them that's not possible. There's alternate universes, wormholes, a 1995 me that was not my actual life, a response to a letter I wrote someone that doesn't even know me. Or events in which I find myself in with the "Hollywood crowd" which to me are people like Kate McKinnon, Amy Poehler, Kristin Wiig ect. (all the funny women of Hollywood). I include these things to make me feel better about the normal part of meeting a woman: connecting, dating, relationship part NOT happening in my real life. I'm like, well all those other things which led to me meeting the love of my life can't possibly happen, so in essence finding HER can't possibly happen either. They are interconnected. Of course I know that isn't true or how the world works. People meet and connect and fall in love and choose to spend their lives together every single day, without something like a wormhole opening up in order to find them or she literally dropping down from the sky. But to me, meeting someone that wants to get to know me longer than like a couple times seems just as impossible as all that other stuff. Sometimes thinking that that celebrity you sent a letter to, will respond to you, makes more sense than me meeting someone on a dating site, at a meet up group, out in the normal people world any given day. Why? Because I've tried all those things dozens of times and came up flat. And I've only tried the letter thing...twice. I'm a perfectly pleasant, funny, kind, loving person who works with special needs babies. So what's your problem "other women"? Or God? Or Universe?
And so to quote Forrest Gump: "That's all I have to say about that."