Dear future love,
First of all are you even out there? I hope this letter isn't all in vain. I've been writing to you in some shape or form since I was 16 years old. The first time I ever did, was after I saw Dirty Dancing and wanted to dance with someone just like that. I knew I didn't have a thing for Patrick Swayze, but it didn't even occur to me at the time that Baby was who I really wanted. Well I do have a thing for curly hair, (not that you have to hair curly hair, just saying). I actually identified with Frances "Baby" Houseman because I was young and innocent and naive about everything back then. I was dorky like her, carrying a watermelon and snorting when she laughed. I couldn't really dance that well, but with a lover for a trainer, I thought, maybe I could!
I often think if I'm doing enough to find you. Big, social gatherings that are loud, alcohol ridding, smoke filled atmospheres aren't working for me. I can't hear myself talk, let alone another person.
I don't know if you feel me out here waiting for me. I don't know if you are waiting for me to find you too, but I'm here! I'm waving my arms in a sea of people, can't you see me? Do you know I yearn for you? I ache for you. I want to hold you in my arms and kiss your forehead. Why aren't you here yet? Where are you? Do you live nearby or are you hundreds of miles away? Why are you taking so long? Please hurry. Stat. I don't want to go another day, I don't want to go another moment without you here by my side. Each day that goes by is a reminder that you aren't here with me and that makes me sad.
I long to know your name. To see your face. To hear your voice talking to me till midnight. To hold your hand in mine. I want to know your heart. What you're passionate about, what makes you tick? The people that changed your life forever, both good and bad? I want to be one of those good ones. I'm ready for you. I'm trying to look for you, but I have a feeling you're not at Target, (where I find myself often), but I'm sure we will go there all the time when we are together, because who doesn't love Target? ;o)
Be careful, be good. Look for me and I will look for you. I don't really look like my blog picture, but you'll know it's me when you meet me. Because we were meant to be together, and the love I have for you and the love you have for me is driving us together, hopefully in a straight line. It's the only thing straight about us. I'm being pulled to you and you being pushed to me. Don't pass me by. I will stop if you do.
all my love,
Christie
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