light and dark

Third day in a row I’ve gone to the lake by my house to write. Christmas eve, Christmas day and now again today. I’m off from work for 10 days straight and I decided today that I’m going to continue to go to the lake every single one of those days and write. The first day I was inspired by the fog over the lake. I couldn’t see to the other side and when I looked at the picture I took, I noticed that there were rays of sun streaming through the clouds. It spurred a story of a celestial being coming down through those rays, who turned out to be my soulmate. Then yesterday in all my anger, I came to the lake and found a wind that was extremely strong, and a whale in the clouds with the sun as its eye. That wind pushed out my anger and that whale ate it. Well, today is calm. Today I found a dock. It started out on one path and broke into 2. I walked those 2 paths. They felt the same, but they were different. They looked different. A light and a dark side. From the start I could see that one side was darker than the other. There were dark clouds hovering and unfortunately the darkness was starting to spread to the light side. These 2 sides feel like the 2 sides of me. On the light side, there is, well…light. There are less clouds too. Less stuff in the way. When I walked down the light side there were boats. Tons of boats docked off on the light side. On my light side there are people. People who I either try to keep in my life or who are forced into my life or people I want to be in my life, but who aren’t. Lots and lots of people. On the right side, the dark side, there is nothing but water. Lots and lots of water. It’s empty, but it’s beautiful. To me it’s much much more beautiful than the side with all the boats shoved together. All falling all over each other, jam packed in there. The dark side has freedom. It has endless possibilities. A lone little duck swam bye…a lone kayaker paddled by. To me that’s enough. One special person to spend my life with. One little child to raise and love. That’s all I would need. One thing both sides had in common were, the docks were covered in bird  poop. Like absolutely covered. Both sides, all up and down the dock. It didn’t matter that it was the light side or the dark side. The bird poop didn’t care. The seagulls didn’t choose a side. Crap is everywhere, on either side. My dark side is where I like to be. It’s where my creativeness comes out the most.  But like it does to the dock and the clouds, a little light manages to cross over to the dark side. It infects both sides, just as the dark intrudes on the light. The social side. The side that says you’ll be happy and light with people surrounding you. But I choose to live on the dark side. The side with open waters and endless possibilities. The side that has the occasional kayaker or duck swim by. The beautiful side. The peaceful side.

The sun made an appearance. It broke through the clouds and pushed its way thru. It shone down on the middle of the lake. It cut through the middle of the 2 sides and like the duck in the 2^nd picture, I stood in the middle of the dock. I didn’t look to the left or the right anymore. I just looked out. Looked out at the water and the rays of sun that shone down through those clouds. Neither side was good or bad. They just…were. To each their own…