whale, are you hungry?

 

The clouds look like a whale. And the pink sun, its eye. The wind is strong. I’m up on a hill overlooking the lake. The sounds of seagulls in the distance. It’s somewhere in the upper 70s. The wind isn’t necessarily cold. It’s just wind. And it’s forceful. I’m letting it push out all my anger, my frustration, my strong feelings of hatred, of resentment, of disrespect, out of me and take it away on the winds, out across the water and into the great void. It is what it is. Your life. Sometimes you have no choice in who is in it. At least not every single day of the year. I hate being controlled. I hate being forced. I hate forcefulness of any kind. You should be allowed to feel how you want. Some relationships are forced. They just have to be, based on circumstances. You don’t get to do what you want, be with who you want. It sucks, it's not fair, but it’s life. I especially hate it in my personal life. In my professional life I do have to suck it up. I have to put a smile on my face and be so nice to that person, even if they are the devil incarnate. That’s my job. I have no choice; I’d lose my job and I have to work, ya know…to live. Ain’t no one taking care of me. But in my personal life I want to spend every minute with whoever lifts me up, encourages me, cares about me, shows me that they care. Those who take interest in my life, ask me questions about my life, about what’s going on with me, not simply just talk about themselves 24/7. But we can’t have that now can we. There’s always exceptions. I don’t have to spell it out for you. Or the specific days I am talking about. So what can you do? Go as long as you can with your mouth shut, until you can’t anymore. And then you can come to the lake and sit on a hill and type away on your tablet whatever you want to say. Whatever your little heart desires to say, but can’t out loud. You can let the strong winds blow over you and take all of it out of you. You can throw rocks into the lake, as hard as you can, until you almost throw out your arm. You can breath in as deeply as humanly possible and then breath out all of the negativity. You can, for the lack of a better word- let it go. So let it go. Start again tomorrow, refreshed and renewed, because all of that is gone. The wind took it. The big whale in the clouds ate it up…