What's next?

I like that new Mumford and Sons song- "I will wait for you." I don't know who exactly is the "you" they are referring to. But in my own life I often wonder who this "you" is, as well. Or if this "you" even exists.
I went to my favorite set of twins birthday party yesterday. They are 3 years old now. I have been in their life since they got out of the hospital at 5 months old, and I will continue to be a part of their life for as long as possible. They are two of the most sweetest and most precious children I know. I've always known I wanted to be a Mom. For maybe a minute awhile ago I thought, maybe I don't, thinking 'it's too hard' or 'I'll miss my freedom; my me time.' But last night it was evident that I definitely still want that, and that I would be good at it. I work with babies everyday, so I know I will be good at the "teaching" aspect. The developmental skills and all that jazz. But I think I would be good at being a parent too.The parents had a lot to attend to at the party, meanwhile I was just loving on those kids, particularly entertaining the little girl and keeping her outta trouble. I really loved being responsible for her and feeding her pieces of my cupcake, even though she had her own...she of course still wanted mine. I loved holding her and protecting her from her brother's swing as he hit the pinata as hard as his little 3 year old hands could take. I loved that as she looked around the room at all the relatives and church people she knew, she still wanted to come right to me and sit in my lap. I want to be a Mom so bad. My friends say "you still can. single women adopt all the time." And to that I reply, nope not gonna happen.That's just not for me. I know it isn't. I know me really well now. Been me for 31 years and counting. I would gladly adopt with a partner, someone I'm spending my life with. But I will not and can not adopt alone. I don't have the money, nor do I wish for my newborn child to spend his or her first 3 years of life (which are the most important in a child's life), bonding with a daycare provider or...my Mom. I'll work from home, I'll work 1 or 2 days a week outside the home if I have to, but I want to be a stay-at-home Mom for sure. At least until the kid starts school. Maybe I could win the lottery and then be a full-time single Mom easily. But raising a kid is really a 2 person job. I know many people don't do it that way, but I definitely don't want to do it alone, if I have a say in it.
I enjoy my alone time. I enjoy pondering things and being in control of my home and how it is run and what goes on inside it. But I do feel like I'm waiting for someone. I'm not doing the looking, just the waiting. If I knew where to look, or if looking in the past ever paid off, I would do it more. What's next for me? Who will I be in a relationship with? Who will be my child one day? And do either one of these people exist in the universe at all? Either present or future?
Things definitely could be worse. I'd take boring over drama, any day of the week for sure. But not all people are drama. I'm not drama. I'm easy going and relaxed. I'm t-shirts and jeans. I'm a homebody but who also loves the outdoors and nature. I'm very passionate about the things I love and the most loyal friend you'll ever make. And now I feel like I'm creating a profile for match.com, so I will end there. What is on the horizon for Christie? WHO is next on this horizon? A tall brunette? A sexy blonde? haha. I don't really care. Just as long as they make me laugh. And listen to me and give me eye contact, like I'm the most important person in the room. THAT is the most important thing. And have a job would be nice...how will I ever be a future stay-at-home Mom without that?? wink wink.