yoga possibilities

I just love it when people tell me what I can and can't do, or should or shouldn't do. Or what I feel, how I should act, how I should think, like they know what is going on in my head. I just love it. I'm a stubborn person ( I get it from both my Mom and Dad, so really I had no hope), AND I'm sarcastic, if you couldn't tell from that first line. That is a great combination, let me tell you. You tell me to do something, I argue or ask why and then I do the opposite. This only happens when I'm pushed to the limit though. I wasn't like this as a child. I followed the rules in all the ways and I was a good kid, the oldest and responsible. I'm not all that sarcastic in person really; I can be, when again, pushed to far. I like to push the line sometimes. See how far I can go with friends sometimes, but I'm cautious mostly. In person with new people, I am quiet and reserved. I listen to people. I let them tell me their opinion and mostly I agree with them, if it warrants that they are looking to be agreed with. But when it comes to me and my life, who I am, what I can and can't do; no one can tell me if I only change my mindset or think positively or be patient, or happy or jolly or sneezy, or any of the dwarfs really...THEN and only then, I will be ready for someone to come into my life in relationship form. That only pushes me to the edge, depresses me and makes me feel inadequate that I can't be someone if I'm not those things 24/7, and thus the only logical ending is that I die alone. I don't accept that. I know myself pretty well...I have been me for 31 years now and have been alone for 90% of it, so I've spent a lot of time with me.  I'm not being negative when I say I can't put my long leg over my head and twist my body 90 degrees, or if I say I know I would be happier sharing life with someone on a daily basis, in a committed, intimate relationship. I'm not wrong on that. I didn't say I'd be happy every second of every day for the next 50 years together, but yes, I would be happier than doing EVERYTHING alone. I do all the things I love and I AM happy doing them, but I would be even more happy doing them with someone that loves me the most-est. I go out to eat, to the movies, to musicals, to concerts, even on vacations, all alone. Christie party of one is my status most weekends. Sure married friends can hang out on week days but most weekends are couple time. I know where they are and where they want to be Saturday nights, and that place isn't a 3rd party kinda place...if ya know what I mean. wink wink. But anyways, no pity party for me! I get to do whatever I want, whenever I want (ya know outside of work hours). And that my friends, is fucking awesome. What I can't do, is spoon myself in bed or kiss myself, or lay on top of myself, but no one can do that alone...I know I'm not the only one missing this.
But back to yoga. Or did I land on yoga yet?? Yoga is funny. I feel like I'm being tortured for information 99% of the time and I swear when she says "smile," I wanna punch her in the face. If she's looking at me, I fake a half smile, which I'm sure looks like the saddest excuse for a smile, but it's what I can do. I love the way I feel after and at the end when we finally relax and she does this positive talk to us and the goddess in me bows to her and we namaste-it up. That, and the ability to sit on the floor better without my back killing me (which is essential in my line of work with the babes), is WHY I do yoga. But there are definitely poses she asks us to do, that I scoff at and say "yeah right" under my breath for. Again, I know myself and what I can do. Some poses I know I can do, but just don't want to do in that moment, but there are others that are physically impossible for me, and I'm totally cool with that. I don't do yoga to impress the other yoga-ites in class or the teacher (who I think is awesome at what she does, by the way). I do it for me! And that's awesome. I do it to continually challenge myself physically, since lifting weights and Zumba or some other ridiculous dance class are out of the question for me.
I'm getting more comfortable being who I am. A girl who's a sucker for romance, not the cheesy "The Notebook" romance with a dozen red roses or jewelry and I don't like candy hardly at all. That would just go to waste on me. I'm a quirky romantic. I'm a Pam and Jim groupie. If it meant something to us, I would love a hot sauce packet, or a miniature pencil from putt putt golf. Or a silly card or homemade item of any kind. My favorite movies are Garden State, Away we Go, 500 days of Summer. But now I feel I'm just listing things...
The point it, there is no point! No, the point is be yourself and don't change for anyone but yourself. If you feel that you need to work on something, work on it, but as long as who you are or what you are doing is not hurting someone else, then just BE! And that's my 2 cents. Only you know you best, so love yourself the best you know how, and let others love you to, when they enter your life. And if you're like me and just want your friends to listen to you instead of offer advice, tell them! Or tell them in blog form...For me, when I really want advice, I will ask "what should I do?" directly. But I know that I'm a good listener to my friends, and sometimes I just need a friend to listen to me and not tell me what I should do or how I need to change my mindset or whatever.My mind is what it is! And it's a great mind. it's a beautiful mind...but not in a weird creepy way...at least not most of the time...
And there's so more pennies for ya!

I leave you again with a quote:

From the new show The Mindy Project- " Maybe I won't get married. Ya know? Maybe I'll do one of those Eat Pray Love things. Ugh. No. I don't want to pray. Forget it. I'll just die alone."

Don't ever forget- there are always many characters from TV shows that you can commiserate with! You are not alone!